this one you can drop in water

I need a new phone.
my screen is cracked, the battery
won't hold a charge
and it keeps
sending a photo
of a cake I made
over and over again
to all my contacts
without stopping.
I go to three stores, go
online,
i call the number
that was left on my voice
mail.
they all work for the same
brand,
and they all have a different
plan on
how to get me into a new
phone today.
it's that car salesman feel.
if you buy it,
you feel suckered.
will it transfer
contacts, will it transfer
pictures, will I lose
anything I ask the young
man with a safety
pin in his eyebrow
and a checker in his ear lobe.
they all laugh, don't worry
grandpa,
they say. we got you
covered, step over here to
the counter
and let's talk.
how many games do you play
on your phone?
to which you say, what?
what games.