house calls

you tire of your day
job
and decide to go to an online
med school.
it's an intense six week program.
one hour a night.
but you only want healthy
patients,
young patients with
money.
you'll only do house calls
to keep the overhead
down.
all you need is a black
bag with a cross on
the side,
and a stethoscope, thermometer
and a blood pressure
gizmo.
you'll learn the name of that
later.
maybe a portable scale
and an eye chart.
you could put a siren on
your Honda civic too,
just for a fun effect.
cash only.
you begin to memorize
and practice saying
the standard doctor phrases.
say ahhh. tell me where it
hurts.
stop smoking.
stop eating at kfc,
and take two of these
and call me in the morning.
you're almost ready.