this is why we drink

i don't smoke
or drink, she tells
me. or eat red meat,
or anything that comes
in a box, nothing
packaged.
no salt or sugar
either. and as far
as the sun goes,
i don't allow
it to  touch my skin.
it's clear, spring
water, filtered
for me. and well
washed lettuce
with maybe a little
piece of wild
salmon. and as
far as sex goes.
i need to see some
blood work
on your before we
even kiss. so keep
your distance.