two kinds of people

i like to volunteer, thelma tells me 

while we're getting to know
one another over drinks

at an outside cafe on the boardwalk.
we met on an internet dating site 

called 'bottom of the barrel'.
i read to the blind, she says,

dipping a piece of fried

calamari  into a little tub of ketchup.
i'm a helper, a doer.
i'm in all the marches
for all the diseases, all the causes.
i have more ribbons and t-shirts 

than i can count.
pink ones, yellow ones, blue ones. 

just yesterday
i made a hundred chicken
pot pies and took them
all down to the shelter
in my prius while  they were still hot

i might even have a couple
of them left in there
if you want one. so, what about you?
are you like that too? a helper. 

i always  say, there are two kinds
of people, those that
help and those that stand
on the sidelines and complain

and don't help. which one are you?
i take a sip of my gin and tonic

which is suddenly not strong enough.
i look out to a large grey freighter

plowing slowly across the horizon.
i wish i was on that boat,
hauling crates of chickens or snow
tires to singapore or someplace
far away. to be honest with you thelma, 

i've been kind of busy lately.

so i haven't been helping or marching
for anything too much.
she frowns at me and says,
oh my, you are a bad boy, aren't you. 

what have you been busy with? she says,
sipping her wine and letting out

a sigh of disappointment.

well, what are you so busy with 

that you can't help others? 

i look back out at the boat, 

and feel one of my eyelids start to twitch.
i try to imagine swimming that far.

i think that i can do it if i get a running start.

oh just life, thelma,
i've been really really busy lately
with stuff, yardwork, things
like that. but i plan on helping people

real soon. honest. 

deep inside of me i'm really

a people person. i love people. honest.

by the way,
you have some of ketchup
on your chin.