turning over a new leaf

i told my life
coach, jimmy,
that i wanted
my money back.
things were not
working out the
way he told me
they would, and
i have done
everything he
insisted that i
do. i'm
even flossing
now after every
meal, no matter
where i am,
and have come
close to
recycling
my empty gin
bottles and
men's magazines,
i can't
do every thing.
he says that i
have to try harder.
to set goals,
have boundaries,
treat others
as i want to be
treated. no
more white lies,
no more chat rooms
and forays into
places that i
shouldn't be. he
even wants me
to stop with
the late night
snacking. what
the hell. pffft.
jimmy. he's living
on borrowed time.